Start of Something Good

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It all started with me locked in his bathroom in the bathtub crying… I can’t seem to handle even the smallest of waves anymore. For I believe every small wave will become a tsunami. But here is the thing sometimes that fear is just a warning… And it subsides to a gentle sea……..

Sully: Don’t…. Don’t say anything. Listen. It is simple. I know the night and year I fell in love with you. I know what you said and how you smiled. You were not free and I don’t intrude on another man’s woman. This isn’t an infatuation for either of us.  I said we could take time and we can. But I am not that asshole you married. I don’t want my life planned around what he left you as. Maybe that’s harsh. But Red, this is you and I. That punk never had even a lick of what we do. We can do this. The beauty spa thing wasn’t a bribe, it was my first valentine’s gift to you. I love you……

My side.

He was offered the dream job and it is my fault. I introduced him to the recruiter for this org and praised him pretty…..He is stupid talented. Been on TV news channels dozens upon dzs of times, as an expert..speaking to his specific talent. I get it, they want him to head a big old OrG OP.  He is well off enough, but good salary never hurts at this point in our lives. Yet what do you trade for that?He has no children, one long gone ex-wife, the redemption of knowing he did good,560 diaries give or take and a lot of cool ass decor from around the world. Lolz.

What can I give him…?He looks like a vacationed shaggy blond Sean Bean{not Game of Throne look}  {but same Sean Bean} I look like Molly Ringwalds chubby sister with glasses. Sull is so set $ wise in life. I am broke as fuck and in ANDY’s PUB serious debt for a good while. Sully has a home. I live in E’s guest bedroom for trade of food/booze and garden planting. I am a glorified housekeeper. Yes I make a beautiful home… Ain’t  that pretty? I work on a consultant basis for Es org….. Sull is the now third boss.  He is so comfortable in who he is, I wonder if the loss of our maybe would rock him like it rocks me. I have major health issues…. I am so scared of forever I shake at three weeks planning ahead.

To say its was been a tumultuous night is an understatement. Problems beat down on us all night… But you know that scene in the movie when the best friend shows and he has the character’s back. The do or die person…. well that’s my guy…. So I unlocked the door…hopeful and afraid…  I climbed into his arms and I said: OK, I am all in.

His reply…. You doubt us, you doubt you, you doubt me. I don’t. See Red, both of us… this ain’t our first rodeo. This is not a cute rom com… This is real. You are my best friend. You are the kind of woman I would go into war with. The kind of woman every man wants in his bed. So I was thinking maybe this might be something we should do. I think we should fight the fight to make this work.  I want to kiss away the bad for you and I want you to let me.

So he gets up and I am crying and reaches into his coat pocket…….and all of the sudden there is a box in his hand. I become a guppy…..

Sully: Now the one thing I love about you, despite all your wild ways, is that you have an old fashioned heart… So I am gonna open this box and ask you to take this as my promise to you. And one day soon when we get that bastard sorted and you have a mint set of divorce papers….I am going to take this off and replace it with another question. But I know your bridle shy.. So I thought maybe….We should start here…

and just like that he slipped a small beautiful delicate promise ring on my hand. And romance, hope, caution… well they just imploded in my heart. All the sad endings, all the death, all the scars… the never ending tears and hurt… They receded. Because the guy who has always had my six just stood up, with his banner flying in the wind and proved to me that there are knights in tarnished armour still. There is a real. There is a possible.

So I fly back home today to see my son… Knowing that this is the start of something good.

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On a small note, Thank You Firefly for always somehow knowing the right song. I never guessed when you sent me this at the very beginning, that this whirlwind would be so filled with hope and joy and so very very good.  X

 

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One thought on “Start of Something Good

  1. It’s the long term relationships that aren’t born of romance and flowers, the ones that are built on friendship and trust, that last. That bear fruit when you least expect it. Your 2016 is going to outshine the last three years so that maybe, just maybe, you can put them in your past and keep them there once the divorce is final. I’m so happy for you. xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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