She is dying, my biscuits didn’t rise, his eyes more than wandered. My divorce petition came back again. I mean that’s a full day worth in the south….

I like dresses, I like men who open doors. I will steal a sip of your drink. I will step on ur feet to kiss u because I am so short.

I work a job n half, take care of a houseful, tweet incessantly, talk on the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY , multiple..with my kid and……. breathe. Walking the dog, paperwork and cooking are a given it seems….I’ll starch ur undies with lavender, fuck u like a porn star and smile shyly from the jukebox…..or so I thought. Apparently…Laughs with trills.. I am lackin.

+You make it look easy+  the Cajuns newly landed relatives….exclaim as I dive into the pantry with tears and vodka….

I bitch as an excuse for other pain. I am meant for big houses full of people, babies and little sleep, seriously. I make it funny. I teach little people the wrong songs, I fall asleep on my Boss’s couch and babble a lot. I love hard. I listen. I wear socks.

You might ask yourself, how did I know…..

A satellite phone is a funny thing….it has a slide off button. Look at me showing off again.. ALL those years as a REAL BOSS IN THE FIELD. Little me… EDUCATED ME. CONNECTED ME.

Snort…waxed balls me. Bite your palm Bitch.



That’s what everyone calls it when I rabbit.

I was 20 something ahem*ish and a cough….I had a almost degree, Europe, one fiancee down, a best friend…..and a big pile of hurt. I heard a song by Pearl Jam and a rumor about Mexico then I inherited money. It happened very quickly. IN like days…comical….And… I dont hesitate.

I fled.

I have written about some form of this in vague terms and loving words everywhere I have ever been..including this very blog. He was the happiest time of my life. He owned a Hot Air Balloon company. He trained me as a pilot. He had a daughter my age and a son.  He was 20 ++ish years my elder. I still remember the first time. It was my birthday… I was scared shitless as we rose from the ground and my friends waved smiling,FROM THE GROUND.

He put his single big hand around my eyes, I startled, he said just wait…

No movement passed…I thought we were a bit above ground….In my ear, he said as gently as you would to a child…….”Happy Birthday Josephine”.. slowly unfolding his hand….Until I die… I will remember the view… We hovered  above the mountains…

I remember I gasped.. then reached out over the basket into the sky and began to cry.

It was an adventure junkie losing her cherry with the best kind of man at the helm.The Germans in the basket began….We all sat at breakfast after. He reached out and moved a curl from my blushing face. He said well Josie, hows your eggs? I threw a tip on the table and pointed to the blonde German woman across from me….ALL cotton swamp and young pissed off woman… I uttered *that’s Josephine!*

I wound up his lover. His long time friend. Almost his wife. And he never stopped calling me Josephine. His eyes would light up as he called me………………. I tell you I have never known this kind of happy again. We were stupid happy. The kind of happy that comes with an UNTIL sticker…..a year I had a year.

His ex was dying, Mother of his kids. Partner in his first ever dream to fly. I still remember  our last night, as I sing song sang to him……If you cant love me… Just turn out the lights and call me Josephine.

I let him go with a kiss and all of my love. He put me on a plane…..

Only to run into me years later…In New Orleans

When I was a fully grown woman….

and all he heard from my guys… OMG…. Its the man who made Josephine

So you understand this next bit










One thought on “Josephine

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